Every morning is different; waking up with different feelings
but the constant reminder of bone chilling sensation that scares me every day.
Why is it so hard to be warm inside and out when the sun shine with its
greatest might and day begins with the sweet chirp of birds finding their ways
to feed the young ones in the nest right below the tallest branch of the tree
in front of my window? The answer is a distant mystery that eludes me every day
with a constant reminder that I am in the cold and I need warmth.
This cold feeling it does not seem to leave me. While I cover
my bare body with layers of clothes for a futile act of creating warmth in me
but my soul and mind is naked and shivering encountering the full wrath of the
cold. I have no clothes to cover them but with everyday passing the cold gets
bitter and bitter and bitter.
It is as if the cold is a manifestation of my actions in the
past; as if I left a refrigerator open in the past and put the temperature to maximum
in its settings. I should be comfortable
with the cold by now but every day it seems harder to fight the cold because
the refrigerator has immense functions to offer. The chilling winds of my past
regrets strip away the warmth inside me and make me a shell of a man I used to
be.
There used to be warmth and eternal sunshine and I sunbathed
with my emotions. The warm interactions; the loving eyes were all I found but
as actions committed to feelings the warmth gave way to bitter cold and an
eternal winter that left me with sorrow and despair. These eyes that gave me
warmth now show me the chilling stare that makes this winter even harder.
Those eyes were magnificent at first gazing me with utmost
beauty and compassion. They represented hope. A symbol for the warmth that my
soul possessed but as the eyes came swiftly they went away swiftly as well. The
swift nature of those eyes took way all the warmth like an endothermic reaction
of hearts of some sort and crashed the ship that held this body together.
No man could witness the decrease in heat or even sense the cold
or the warmth but only they could see the obvious; someone leaving the very man
who was the sole provider of positivity and compassion. This act gave way to
remorse, hatred and the all eternal bitter cold that seems to continue into infinity and beyond.
